News Weer Triumphs at Master Blasters Canadian Mike Weer has won the first Peeball Major of the year, the Master Blasters, in a spectacular playoff finish. Traditionally viewed as the most prestigious of all the Majors, the Master Blasters is played on the lightening fast urinals of Urethra, Georgia and draws television coverage from Peeball playing nations all over the world. Weer’s unexpected victory, the first Major win by any Canuck, sparked frenzied drinking across Canada in the biggest celebrations seen in the country since Bryan Adams finally emigrated in 1994. Weer’s triumph was even more remarkable, as he became the first left-handed player to win a Major since ‘Southpaw’ Summers won The Open at St. Andrews in 1963. Weer finished level after four days of play with American Damp Matreece, whose record-breaking play on the Sunday left previous winners like Niagara Woods and Peespray Singh trailing in his wake. In the pressure cooker situation of the one-ball playoff, after his day of miraculous play, a moment’s lost concentration meant Matreece lost control of his Peeball, leaving Weer with the simple task of polishing off his ball to take the title. The hot pre-tournament favourite, world Number One Niagara Woods, was going for his third consecutive victory, but finished a disappointing tenth. Peeball commentator Peter Allwizz was delighted with the tournament as a whole. “There were s many stories this week,” he beamed. “Everywhere you looked you could see the unfolding drama that is top level Peeball. Weer’s incredible accuracy under pressure and Damp Mattreece’s unbelievable play on the last day made for a classic last day”. Allwizz believes that this victory will have a lasting mark in urinals around the world. “Hopefully Weer’s triumph will encourage other left-handers to take up the game. Many players thing a left-handed grip is somehow ugly or ungainly. Weer and Will Trickleson have proven that you can play top-level Peeball left-handed”. The event was marred by controversy, as protestors demanded that women should be allowed to visit the hallowed urinals of Urethra. Speculation is rife that within the year the bathroom will see its first female user. However, according to a source within the Georgia State Sanitation Department, “Once they seen the state of the place it’s hard to imagine women will want to stick around. It hasn’t been washed since Gary Sprayer won in 1969. If you’re not used to it, the smell can be overpowering. I’ve seen it reduce great Peeball players to tears.”