News News for US Peeball Fans Even though its official launch is still months away, a few hundred Power Peeballs have been smuggled into the USA, resulting in a frenzy of Peeballing activities. Major League Peeball’s marquee event, the Toilet Bowl, produced a surprise champion as the heavily favoured San Francisco Underpants fell to the never-say-die Anaheim A-holes. The Underpants’ superstar, Barry Ponds, failed to find his form while the relatively unknown A-holes, led by Troy Potts and David Wetstain, succeeded their fans’ wildest expectations. Ignoring the ’Holes heroics, the US media focussed its attention on Ponds’ sub-par performance in the big game. The surly star’s slip at a critical stand doomed the Underpants and inspired Anaheim to take a famous victory. Having never enjoyed the best relationship with the US press, Ponds’ was in less than accommodating mood in the post-game press conference. “What do you want from me?” growled the sour-faced player. “I’ve had one of the greatest seasons in Peeball history and you criticise me for this? Yeah, I made a mistake but I’m only human. I pee my hardest every time I step up to the urinal. If you think you could do better with thousands of fans watching you, why don’t you have a go?” Unlikely, as it was ESPN reporter Natalie Carr asking the question. Following a question about his pre-game drinking, Ponds stormed out of the press conference, only to be caught urinating freely in an alley behind the stadium. Once again, Peeball fans have been left questioning the desire of one of the game’s most talented and enigmatic players. The International Peeball Federation sent its congratulations to the Anaheim A-holes and had an encouraging message for all Peeball’s American Fans. “We really appreciate the enormous amount support that we’ve received from the USA,” said IPF Chairman Norris McSquirter. “Even though we haven’t officially launched Peeball over there, the response from US fans has been nothing short of astonishing – hundreds of e-mails have been arriving at IPF headquarters on a daily basis. We’re working flat out to make sure every American man has the opportunity to strain his greens in a competitive environment by early 2003 so if you’re saving up for a big stand, please stop holding it in”. Peeball will be available across the USA from Spring 2003. Thank you to all our American fans. We really do appreciate your support.